Congratulations! You’ve just been selected as the “Best Man”. You’ll be responsible for organizing the bachelor party, helping with the wedding, and generally being an excellent wingman. There is however, one key task that is yours and yours alone.
Writing A Best Man Speech – All the Do’s and Don’ts
Your best man’s speech usually comes right after the groom’s speech, and it’s your chance to toast the happy couple, say some nice things about their relationship and wish the groom all the best in his marriage. But if you’re dreading this ever so important task, we’ve got just the guide for you.
Before you get into the actual writing of the speech, keep the following template suggestions in mind –
- Don’t worry too much about what other people think
- Practice before delivering it in person if possible
- Identify a theme for your speech, based on your favorite stories of you and the groom
- Create a skeleton framework of the points you want to cover
- Write from the audience’s perspective and think about what they’d want to hear
- Include the new spouse and not just the groom in your speech – after all, you’re celebrating the newly married couple and their relationship
- Make it meaningful and express your feelings
7 Tips on What to do During your Best Man Speech
Now it’s time to pull out your pen and your thinking cap and get to work! We’ve rounded up our top 7 tips for what is sure to be a memorable best man speech:
1. Keep your audience in mind.
You can’t write an effective speech without knowing who you’re addressing. Before you start writing, make sure you’ve got a sense of who your audience is. Ask yourself questions about them, such as what kind of people would enjoy hearing what you have to say? Will someone else be including my same points in their speech about the bride and groom? Knowing your audience will help you craft a message that resonates with them. After all, they want to know more about the newly married couple from your perspective.
2. Relax.
Try not to begin by mentioning how nervous you are to do this speech. But keep this in mind – you’re not a performer; you’re simply sharing stories about your best friend and the person he loves most in the world. Remember that all you’re doing is just telling stories to an audience of friends because that’s who really the guests are anyway.
3. Be yourself.
Don’t pretend to be someone else you’re not. You know what you’re good at, and you should stick to those things. If you’re naturally funny, then tell a few select jokes in your speech and use that in your storytelling. If you’re naturally serious, then skip the jokes and focus on being heartfelt and authentic. The whole point is to be as genuine as possible during your speech.
4. Keep your speech positive and celebratory.
Regardless of what you think, the best man speech is not an opportunity to roast the groom or the newly married couple. The best approach is to think of jokes as ways to help others understand your friend better. So instead of thinking of jokes as a tool to get laughs, try to see them as an opportunity to share something personal about you and the couple.
5. Center the speeches on the newlyweds, not you.
You’re not a performer or the headlining act; you’re there because you know the couple and you care about them, so you’re giving your support to them. And if you’ve said something memorable that sticks with the audience, then you’ve done your job.
6. Ask for feedback.
You’ll be speaking before an audience, so it’s important to anticipate how they’ll feel about your speech. If you’re the type of person who tends to go a little overboard, then you should probably ask someone else to review your speech beforehand. Otherwise, you might end up giving a speech that won’t land well or worse yet, come across as offensive.
7. Keep it short and sweet.
Long speeches at weddings will bore people. So if you’re planning to give an epic best man toast, keep it short and sweet. Five to seven minute speeches are usually plenty long enough. Three to four minute speeches are perfect.
Here are the top 3 tips of what NOT to do during your speech:
1. Share embarrassing stories about the groom and his long list of exes.
If you have any doubt about whether the content in your speech is appropriate, then don’t do it – it’s better to err on the side of caution. Remember that the guests in attendance includes the couple’s parents, relatives, friends and work colleagues. Don’t mention anything that you wouldn’t want said about you.
2. Make it a one-man standup routine.
While a joke here and there is a good tactic to get the audience smiling, don’t make these the main focus of your speech, especially if you aren’t naturally funny. The more you try to force it into being a standup routine, the more awkward the whole speech will feel.
3. Deliver your speech while drunk.
Don’t get drunk before delivering your speech to the happy couple. Drinking too much can lead to embarrassment, for yourself and for the newlywed couple.
Final Thoughts
The wedding represents the union of a couple. You are invested because your good friend is part of that couple. As long as you show solidarity and support for their love from a genuine place, your speech will be great.
