So you’ve agreed to be the maid of honor and you just found out that the responsibility of planning the epic bachelorette party falls on you. What now? Where do you start and how do you make sure it’ll be a memorable part of the bride’s wedding journey? Is it the same as a bridal shower and if not, what’s the difference? Do you need to do both?
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What is a Bachelorette Party and Where Did It Originate?
Tens of million of women take part in this pre-wedding ritual every year. These brides, bridesmaids and best friends don’t even realize that this tradition was influenced by the feminist movement.
To understand how it all started, we’ll go back to ancient times when Spartans would host a feast to honor a groom the night before his wedding. The practice of celebrating brides the night before her wedding didn’t start until almost 2,000 years later; note though, bridal showers have been around since 16th century Europe. The concept of a “bachelorette party” came about in the 1960’s along with the feminist movement; “bachelor party” had been in existence since the 1920’s. Women simply didn’t think it was fair for men to be having wild parties while they were having boring tea party-style bridal showers where their grandmothers and great aunts were looking on. They too, wanted the fun and upbeat parties where they could be themselves and not be censored because the more conservative family members were in attendance.
While the modern bachelorette party kicked off in the 1960’s, it didn’t really become common place until the 1980’s when it became a more significant event in a bride’s journey to her wedding day. Bottom line is that a bachelorette party is meant to be a personalized type of celebration with your closest friends before your wedding day.
Who Plans the Bachelorette Party?
Typically, the bachelorette party falls under the responsibility of the maid of honor. But depending on the size of the bridal party and whether or not there are bridesmaids, the responsibility may fall to close friends.
Who Pays for the Bachelorette Party?
Typically, the bridal party splits the costs associated with the bachelorette party if the plans are local, but overall, you should be mindful how the costs are divided. It would be ideal to have the budget conversation upfront first and then mutually decide as a bridal party what the bachelorette party idea will be.
For out-of-town bachelorette parties, travel costs typically falls on the individual guests and it does not fall upon the bridal party to split the costs. In this instance, there is no need to discuss a group budget because individuals can decide on their own whether or not to participate.
Regardless of the type of bachelorette party that you’re planning, there is one rule of thumb to keep in mind: the bride should not have to foot the bill. If she insists on covering the expenses, then the bridal party should be prepared to contribute as much as they are able to.
Who Gets Invited to the Bachelorette Party?
You don’t know who to invite to the bachelorette party? As a start, extend an invite to all members of the bridal party. After that, check in with the bride to see if there are any other people she would like to include. She might want to include some close friends who aren’t part of the bridal party but are an important in her life – the group size can be small or large depending on the bride’s preference.
When Should the Bachelorette Party Take Place?
When choosing the time for the bachelorette party, it’s important to consider the type of event and whether it be out of town. It may be best to choose a time a few months before the big day so that everyone has plenty of time to plan their trip.
If the bride does have guests coming from out of town that she’d like to invite, the bachelorette party can take place during the wedding week, so those guests can extend their wedding travel plans to include both the bachelorette party and the actual wedding day. You just need to factor in some R&R days for the bridal party in between!
Final Thoughts
Now that you know the basics of a bachelorette party, you should have a clearer picture on how to start planning it. The biggest thing to remember is it’s a day to celebrate the bride-to-be. If you let that guide you, you should have no problems executing the best party for them.
