Wedding Gift Spending – How Much to Gift in 2023?

Have you been asked to attend a wedding in 2023 or maybe even multiple and you’re wondering what is appropriate for wedding gift spending? To be honest, it is an appropriate question as people live their way out of the pandemic and more couples choose having their postponed weddings now. The thought of shelling out money for plane tickets, hotels, bridesmaid dresses and then a present for each situation could be a daunting source of pressure for the guests. Adding to it further is the seeming lack of clear wedding present etiquette: Is buying presents outside the registry allowed? What’s an appropriate amount of money to spend? Is gifting cash inappropriate? Here are answers to these top questions and more.

What is Generally An Appropriate Amount for a Wedding Gift?

In 2022, a credit card company’s research suggested that wedding guests spent an estimated $99 on a gift, but relatives and close family and friends would likely spend at least $127 or more.

Even for acquaintances or colleagues, it’s expected to spend at least $50 on a wedding gift. If you don’t have $50-$75 to spare, a gift card from one of the couple’s registered stores is a good option.

How Much Should I Spend for a Close Friend or Family Member?

If it’s a good friend or close family member, you may want to splurge and spend a bit more. Wedding guests generally don’t mind spending money for those they know well, with $160 being the average amount nationwide. Likely, you could look at spending between $100-$200 for them.

If you’re part of the wedding party, it’s wise to consider how much you’ve already spent on an engagement present, shower present, bachelorette party, and other related expenses. All of these need to be factored in and reasonably, you can choose a more sentimental gift instead of an expensive one.

How Much Should I Spend For An Acquaintance or Colleague?

A wedding at which you are not closely related to either the bride or groom should still be celebrated with a meaningful gift. We recommend searching for gifts within an acceptable price range, such as $50-$175+. Taking into consideration your relationship with the couple as well as your budget is the surest way to select a suitable present.

How Much Should I Spend If I’m Going In On a Group Gift?

If you don’t see anything on the registry within your price range or you want to surprise the couple with something a bit more expensive, why not split the cost among friends? That way, you’ll likely end up spending less than if you bought an individual gift.

If you are part of the wedding party and have already spent money on an engagement present, outfits and accessories, it is a great idea to pool money together with other members of the bridal party and purchase a larger and more expensive gift.

How Much Should We Spend If We’re Attending As A Couple?

If you are attending a wedding as a plus-one when you don’t know the couple or taking a date to one where you were invited, the amount that you should spend on the gift does not change. A reasonable sum for such an occasion would be between $100-$200+ per couple.

If you’re attending a wedding with your significant other, a joint gift is always an option. You can decide how the two of you want to contribute to it – one person can provide the present while the other just signs off on the card, or you both can pitch in for it. No matter what you choose, make sure that both of your names are included on the card. This choice not only saves money but also lets you set aside more funds for the gift purchase.

Should I Give a Gift That is the Equivalent to the Catering Cost Per Head?

Be aware that there is the tradition of at least giving a gift that is close to the per head cost for each attendee, i.e. you should be “covering” your cost to attend. While it seems logical to do so, it doesn’t take into account the couples that may plan a wedding that is so extravagant that the guests simply can’t follow this rule of thumb. Consider that the time of day and formal wear the couple chooses to have at their wedding should have no bearing on how much money one you should spend when it comes time to give a gift. Remember, spend what you are able to based on your budget and keep in mind the average amount of a gift is currently around $100 per guest.

However, be mindful that just because your friend or family member is choosing to do a simple backyard wedding, it doesn’t mean that you should be getting an inexpensive gift. A gift is a gift regardless of the wedding venue and how you’re expected to dress. Again, the average spend for a wedding is approximately $100 per guest.

If you’re going to multiple wedding-related events, you could use the 60-20-20 rule and spend 20 percent of your budget on the engagement party gift, 20 percent on the bridal shower gift, and 60 percent for the wedding present.

Can I Just Keep It Simple and Give Cash?

Giving money as a wedding gift is completely acceptable; in fact, according to wedding industry data, one third of respondents actually prefer it. Plus, with millennials getting married later in life and already having homes filled with the essentials they need, they would rather receive cash to help them save towards bigger ticket items.

Keep in mind that certain cultures prefer cash for its simplicity and practicality; Italians, Africans and the Chinese are known for preferring monetary wedding gifts.

How Much Should I Give If I’m Traveling a Considerable Distance to Attend?

Don’t forget that attending a wedding can be expensive, especially if it’s a destination wedding or if it takes place during peak season. You may already be paying for flights, accommodations, outfits and other items associated with the wedding. Likely the couple getting married will know that you’ve incurred these expenses just to attend and won’t expect a separate, lavish gift from you. After all, you being there is also a present!

However, common etiquette states that you should still be purchasing a wedding gift, even though you’re attending a destination wedding. Do what you can according to your budget and if anything, choose a more affordable gift.

How Much Should I Spend If I Can’t Go to the Wedding?

Here is a tough one: How much should I spend on a wedding present if I’m not going to the wedding? Even though you’re replying “no,” it is still recommended to give the couple a gift as a token of gratitude for receiving the invitation, but not an absolute necessity – it all depends on how close you are to the couple.

You may turn down a wedding invite for a number of reasons, but if one of your primary factors is finance, it’s OK if you cannot purchase or contribute to an expensive gift. Regardless of your financial situation, we suggest you have a look at the gift registry and see what fits in your budget. Flexible options include gift cards, contributing to a honeymoon fund or household items. You could also chip in with other wedding guests to split the cost on a larger and more expensive gift.

Can I Buy a Gift that the Couple Didn’t Register For?

In short, the answer is “try not to”. The couple has a registry for a reason and it’s their wish list of gifts that they’d like to have. The purpose of a wedding registry is to get the couple exactly what it is that they want and need. However, if you’re late to purchase the wedding gift and all the items on the registry are accounted for or the items left are not within your budget, there’s a few things we can suggest:

• Ask wedding party members or close family members what else the couple would like
• Check with the couple directly about what else they would want
• Put money towards a cash fund (honeymoon fund, house fund etc.)
• Get a gift on your own but be absolutely sure that it comes with a gift receipt in the off chance that they don’t like it or won’t use it

Must I Spend Money to Buy Gifts for Every Wedding Event?

The answer is “yes: – you should purchase a gift for each event. We know-buying this many gifts can be tough. If you’re lucky enough to be invited to the engagement party, bridal shower and the wedding, you’ll need to set a budget and determine your spending limits ahead of time. To make things easier on your wallet, follow the 20-20-60 rule, which dictates that you spread out your spending like so:

• 20% on the engagement gift
• 20% on the bridal shower
• 60% on the wedding

When Do I Bring My Gift With Me?

So you’ve picked out your gift and now you have no idea when to give the gift or where to bring it. Here are some guidelines to make things simpler for you:

Bring It With You If:

• You’re physically going to the engagement party or bridal shower
• You bought a gift that’s not from the wedding registry

Mail The Gift If:

• You’re giving a cheque or gift cards
• You picked out a gift from the wedding registry

What’s Considered Too Late To Give a Wedding Gift?

You might have heard that you’ve got up to a year after the wedding to send your gift; that may be true but we highly suggest that you send your gift within 3 months. Waiting much longer than that can lead to you forgetting and is less convenient for the couple when managing the gifts and writing thank-you notes.

When Don’t I Have to Give a Wedding Gift?

Although gifting is usually expected at weddings and bridal showers, you can stretch your finances by understanding which events require a present. For example, it isn’t obligatory to give something to the couple at their engagement party (though a congratulatory card is always appreciated). Furthermore, if you have been actively involved in the wedding preparations – like organizing the bridal shower or being responsible for the bride’s hairstyle – then you don’t need to provide another gift. Thus, focusing on giving presents where it is expected will make each dollar go much further.

Our Final Advice About Gift Giving

It’s an honor to be invited to attend all or part of a wedding and to take part in the couple’s special day. Ultimately, the choice of how much to spend, what to gift and when is ultimately up to you and what your budget will be. There are circumstances too, where our advice will be too general and you’ll just have to make the best decision based on what you’re comfortable doing. Enjoy the moment, celebrate the couple’s big day and most importantly, be as generous as you can because it’ll come right around back to you in the future.