All You Need to Know About Writing Your Wedding Vows

Your wedding date is drawing closer and you have a rough idea of what you want to say, but you haven’t committed the time to getting this done yet. The vows are likely going to be one of the most personal parts of the overall wedding ceremony, so we’ve rounded up some helpful hints for writing wedding vows that hopefully inspires you when writing your own.

Tips to Writing Your Vows

Don’t Rush the Process

It’s best not to rush things when writing out your own vows. You don’t want to end up saying something that makes no sense or was copied from the internet. So plan to write your vows well in advance and take time off from writing every now and then. We suggest you give yourself plenty of time to mull it over before you start putting pen to paper and formalize your vows. If you start writing a few months in advance of your wedding day, you’ll have lots of chances to rewrite and edit along the way.

Be Inspired by the Mementos

If you’re going to write something special for your vows, be sure to get some inspiration by surrounding yourself with things your partner has given you such as gifts and cards.

These items will help you remember important occasions like your first date, your first vacation together and other memories that can serve as inspiration for your wedding vows.

Decide on a Framework

You don’t need to tell your spouse-to-be every single detail about the wedding vows you’re writing. But do agree on a specific format, style, length and other considerations before you get too deep into the writing. For instance, you may think that corny jokes are ok but your partner may not.

You both should agree on the overall length of your vows so that one’s vows is not significantly longer than the others. If you write your vows together, which some couples do, then no need to consider this piece of advice.

Have Someone Review and Proofread

If writing isn’t your forte, it may be worth having a close friend or family review the draft version of your vows first and then read them out loud back to you. This will give you a chance to critique your own writing and make changes before you say them on your big day.

Take Breaks Along the Way

Writing doesn’t happen overnight. Sometimes, you may feel like your draft is not good enough. Don’t worry about it! Just stop working on it for a day or two. When you return to it, you’ll find that your perspective has cleared, and you’re ready to produce a better version.

Assuming you have enough time before your wedding day, take a few hours to sit down when you’re not rushed and start writing. Take a pause and come back to it again at a later time to go at it again.

Keep doing this process until you’re sure that your wedding vows can no longer be perfected. You’ll be amazed at how well this works!

Create a Love List

Writing your vows doesn’t have to be hard if you know where to begin! Start by listing all of the things you love about your partner and then write down everything else that you both love doing as a couple as well as what you both dream about.

After writing down everything you can think of without trying to make it sound perfect, go through you list again and see if there’s anything else you can add. Then, when you’ve finished making your final list, look at the things you wrote and see whether this has inspired something new for your wedding vows.

Don’t Overshare

Of course, your wedding vows should include words that express your deep personal feelings for your partner. However, don’t get carried away because everyone else will be hearing your speech.

That said, they’re your vows, so you can pretty much get away with saying anything you want. If you both agree on it then just do it!

Writing Tips

We’ll provide you with detailed steps that you can follow and create your own personalized wedding vows. Use all or some of these suggestions to fit your personal style.

1. Tell Everyone Who You’re Marrying

Start by saying something that tells them exactly who they are to you.
Example: “Nick, you are my heart and my closest confidant.”

2. Make a List of All The Things You Love About Your Future Spouse

Next, think about the favorite things that you love about your partner. Perhaps something about the first time you met them or the one quality that you appreciate most about them. Include all the reasons you love and what you miss most when they’re not around.

Example: “I love how much you unconditionally love me, even when I’m in the wrong. You feel with your whole heart all the time and it feels like a piece of me is missing when you’re not at home. What I love about you most is how you’ve already planned your whole future and I’m always part of that picture you’ve painted.”

3. Share the “How We Met and Fell in Love” Story

You could include a story about how and when you first met, your first date etc. It makes your wedding vows more memorable and gives your family and friends some insights into your relationship.

Example: “I remember when I first saw you – you walked into my work, specifically the customer service desk and you were asking for help. You later on got a job at the same company and we started working together. When I got to know you better, especially how goals-driven, aspirational and sincere you are – we were inseparable, spending all our free time together despite living on opposite sides of the city. I knew that you were meant to be in my life. Since then, our time together has been a journey and an adventure – one that I wouldn’t change a thing about.”

4. Tell Your Forever Promises 

Here’s the ‘vow’ section of your personalized wedding vows. You might recognize the traditional vows typically said in this segment, “To have and to (or not) have, in sickness and in (or not) health, for richer for poor” etc.

They also promise to support your partner and show them how they will be supported. Add your own personal touch by writing down something special.

Examples:

• “I will always be your best friend, no matter what happens.”
• “I promise to always be your biggest and number one fan.”
• “I will love and support you through everything.”
• “I promise to support you to be your true self for the rest of my life.”

5. Personalize With Romance and / or Humor

You also have the option to write any kind of non-traditional wedding vows you want, including romantic and funny ones. Make them unique so that they can be even more special.

Examples:

• “I promise to love you until my heart stops beating.”
• “I promise to be connected by mind, soul and heart forever.”
• “I promise to always share half of my closet space with you from this point onward.”
• “I promise to love you more than I love ice cream.”

6. Remind Them of What You’ll Do and Accomplish Together

When you get married, you will become one entity and you will share everything together in partnership. So, this would be a good time to mention some of the things that you plan to do together as a married couple in the future.

Examples:

• “We’re going to dream big and climb mountains literally and figuratively, because together we’ll be courageous and unconquerable through it all.” 
• “You and me together means that we can take on anything and everything.”

7. Mention Possible Obstacles 

All couples should expect rough patches in their marriage every now and then. This is the time in your vows to recognize that you’ll see through those tough times together and that you realize that your marriage won’t be perfect. 

Examples:

• “I promise to always listen to your point of view, even when I’m being stubborn and I think I’m right.”
• “I promise to support you when times get tough and to see it through together with you.”

8. Add the Icing on the Cake

The final line of your personalized wedding vows should be a promise to always be there for each other. It’s the big finale, so don’t leave anything out.

Examples:

• “You are the other half of my heart and I’m better because of you. You encourage me to be my true self at all times and for this, I promise to love you, support you and show you my love until my last breath.”
• “From today onward, we are family and united in one purpose – to bring out the best in each other and to encourage each other to reach their greatest potential. I love you with my whole heart and I can’t wait to keep on writing the story of us.”

Final Thoughts

Writing your wedding vows can seem stressful if you think about the outside factors. But if you focus on what your partner means to you and how you are excited to be starting this new journey with them, the ideas should flow easier. Remember, it’s a day to celebrate you both and your love.