Fusion Wedding Planning – A How To

Are you an interracial couple from vastly different backgrounds and want to plan a fusion wedding? Curious or perhaps even a little overwhelmed about how to plan your upcoming nuptials that will respectfully pay homage to both your cultures?

We appreciate the mixing of two different cultures and think interracial weddings and interfaith ceremonies are wonderful. As more millennial couples make their commitment to one another, these type of weddings have become more common.

However, we understand how daunting it can be to plan a fusion ceremony that satisfies both sides of the family, so we’ve gathered tips from wedding planners, industry professionals, and interracial couples to help you create the ideal wedding that will be memorable and personal for you.

Start the Discussion With Both Families as Early as Possible

When fusion wedding planning, you should anticipate how the conversations between the two families will go, and determine your part in those talks. Likely, you would have to confer with your parents and your extended family members, while your future spouse may need to approach their side of the family. Even though it’s easier said than done, start off with open communication between both families so there won’t be any unpleasant surprises later. However, even with that being said, it’s normal for some tension to arise at weddings.

It’s very important that you uncover expectations that you might not even realize exist; your family may want an extravagant wedding with many guests, which may not be what you want. Mentally prepare yourself by talking through everything with your relatives, listening to all their opinions, and working together. Take this opportunity to explain what you (and your partner) expect in your wedding ceremony. Even though they may not play an active role in the organization of events, always keep them updated on what’s taking place. Parents want to be aware of what is going on. If you make those expectations transparent, there won’t be much room for disagreement.

Find the Common Elements in Both Cultures When Fusion Wedding Planning

Once you’ve started the conversation with both families, hopefully the wedding planning will go smoothly from there. Consider the following questions as you continue with your planning:

• Would you want an interfaith or fusion wedding?
• Will the families be willing to discover and embrace each other’s cultural traditions?
• What customs or traditions would you want to include?
• Can some common or parallel traditions be intertwined?
• Can you work with your venue to carefully curate a wedding program that works for both of your cultures?
• Are some customs and traditions “optional” so they don’t need to be included?
• How many events will you have?

Ways To Incorporate Cultural Traditions

After discussing with your families and you still can’t come to an agreement, you can always span your celebration over a few days to accommodate everyone’s wishes.

If your family wants a really large celebration and you only want something small, you can consider compromising by letting them plan a large pre-wedding welcome night for your guests and then incorporate all the traditions they’d like to see. On the actual wedding day, you can have the smaller and more intimate nuptials that you had in mind.

As for the rest of your wedding, how fun would it be to incorporate all of your favorite traditions into one big fusion wedding celebration? This is a great way to share your special customs with your wedding guests. Read on as we give you some inspirational ideas.

Food

This is likely the one element that everyone looks forward to during any wedding. So either you can integrate food options from both cultures into your overall menu or curate a custom menu that is a true fusion of both cultures. Alternatively, you can also decide on one culture for the main wedding meal and then have the other culture as the midnight snack later on in the evening. We went to a Polish / Portuguese wedding and this played out beautifully – the dinner was a traditional 5 course meal and then the typical Portuguese seafood buffet was brought out around midnight for those who were still peckish.

Our suggestion: We absolutely do think that you should incorporate food from both cultures in your big day; after all, your wedding is a symbolism of two lives coming together and your marriage will reflect that as well. If you’re nervous about how it’ll all come together, you can always stick to a North American-style dinner and then incorporate your culture into the dessert offering or guest favors.

Music

You likely will have music and a traditional dance that you’ll want to include in your wedding. So consider how you’ll incorporate music and dance from both your cultures into your wedding ceremony and reception. Work with your DJ to curate a playlist that will showcase your favorite songs; or perhaps use North American style music for your nuptials and then let loose for your reception.

Our suggestion: Discuss with your future spouse and decide which one of your cultures has the more upbeat and fun music. You can incorporate this into your wedding reception and turn it into an entertainment segment, if you plan for it properly. Alternatively, you can also play music from both your cultures during the cocktail hour or in between events so that it’s present but not front and center.

Flowers and Decor

Weddings, regardless of culture, tend to include flowers. They make a great way to honor both cultures. Incorporate relevant colors or pick color palettes for your respective cultures for each wedding event. Add design elements such as colors, font and styles into your menu, name card and signage and invitation design.

Our Suggestion: In order to keep your wedding events cohesive, we suggest that you distinctly choose flowers and decor that will coordinate with the theme of each event, i.e. if you’re having a South Asian wedding ceremony, then incorporate traditional South Asian flowers and decor into the ceremony instead of doing a mix and match.

Customs and Rituals

In the case of blended weddings, it’s tough to include every single custom of each culture. Consider which events you’re looking for when selecting and mixing the conventions that have the highest value to you and your partner. If you are opting for two entirely separate services, fitting in rituals might be easier. However, if your ceremony is shared, you should selectively choose which ones to include (if any).

Our Suggestion: Much as you want to be as individualistic as possible, it might just make sense to find common or overlapping traditions or rituals so that you can honor both cultures at the same time. Consider the tradition of lifting the bride and groom in chairs – did you know that this is done in both Jewish and Indian weddings? If you can manage to celebrate both traditions at the same time, you’ll have a true fusion wedding that will be memorable for you and your guests!

How Many Wedding Events Should I Plan?

Fusion weddings are entirely based on personal preferences, so it’s up to you and your partner-and your families-to decide how many and what types of events to have. Your budget should be taken into consideration as well. Here are a few examples of what your event plan could look like:

• One Fusion Cultural Ceremony & Reception: Incorporate both cultures into the ceremony and the reception
• One Wedding Ceremony & One Reception: Decide on one type of ceremony and reception only but add cultural elements throughout the day. This would include incorporating meaningful colors into the decor or offering wedding favors that have special meaning.
• Cultural Pre-Wedding Events Plus Ceremony & Reception: In addition to the standard ceremony and reception, kick off the entire celebration with a cultural event where you can introduce the important cultural aspects to wedding guests in advance.
• Cultural Pre-Wedding Events Plus Two Ceremonies & One Reception: This is the full package, if that’s what you’re looking for! Plan one or a number of big cultural events the few days leading up to your wedding. Then, plan for a traditional wedding ceremony plus a cultural wedding ceremony; that way, you can incorporate all the elements you desire. Cap off the entire wedding with a reception of your liking.
• One Simple Ceremony & One Reception Celebration: This is the “back to basics” version – plan for one simple ceremony and one reception only. You can incorporate whatever you’d like.

The Ultimate Checklist For Scheduling Your Wedding Events

Regardless if you’re planning the fusion wedding of the century or you’ve got your heart set on something simple, use this checklist to help create the perfect schedule all your wedding events.

• Travel: Will you have guests that are travelling from quite a distance to get to your wedding?
• Length: How long will your wedding celebration be? Will you be scheduling all your wedding events into a typical weekend or will you festivities fall on a long three or four day weekend?
• Location: Where will all your wedding events take place? Will guests need to travel between different locations?
• Destination: If you’re planning a destination weekend, is it a reasonable distance for most if not all of your guests to travel to? If it’s a typical vacation destination, will you guests want to turn it into an actual vacation?

Remember, how and what events you’ll be scheduling for your wedding will determine the overall success so make sure if consider all aspects during the planning process!

What Should I Wear for My Fusion Wedding?

The short answer is that you can wear whatever you want; after all, it’s YOUR big day! If you are having a fusion wedding, you can have a lot of fun with your wedding outfits. If you’re having a pre-wedding celebration complete with customs and traditions, that would be the perfect opportunity to show off your ethnic attire. Save your traditional wedding gown for the ceremony itself. Some brides do the opposite and choose to save their cultural outfit for the reception.

Another consideration is the factor in elements of your culture into your wedding day outfit, rather than changing into multiple outfits. Some South Asian brides will wear a traditional wedding gown, but will have their hands hennaed as part of their pre-wedding rituals a few days before.

How Can Guests Participate In My Fusion Wedding?

Now that you’ve got the wedding of your dreams under way, how will you make sure that your guests feel like they’ll be a part of it? Keep in mind that many of them likely have not attended a fusion wedding before, so they’ll be curious and excited at the same time.

The best advice we have for you is to communicate with your guests well in advance of your big day. Don’t leave anything as a surprise; rather, you want to give them as much information as possible about what to expect, what to wear, what to do etc. ahead of time. Here’s how you can do that:

Before the Wedding

• Invitations: If you have enough space on your invitations, you can hint that you’ll be having a fusion wedding. Include all the events that are taking place, their location and the dates.
• Personalize Wedding Website: Alternatively, you can keep your invitations simple but include all the details about your wedding, including cultural ceremonies on your personalized wedding website. Many couples find WithJoy.com and Zola.com perfect to do just that.
• Guest Welcome Bags: If you have guests travelling from abroad, you can also include all the details in their welcome bags. Add an info sheet with exact details on what to do and what to wear. The only downfall is that your guests may not have packed what you’re suggesting in their suitcases.

During the Wedding

• Wedding Program: Introduce any ceremonial rituals into your wedding program. There may be some elements that are foreign to some of your wedding guests and they can read the program for additional background context so that they know what’s going on as it happens.
• Translate the Ceremony: If your wedding ceremony will be conducted in a language other than English, either have the officiant explain in English or have a translator on hand to tackle this.
• Involve Your Guests: Where possible, invite guests to take part of the cultural aspects so that they can be involved as much as they can. This could include making them feel welcome at your bridal shower or bachelorette party. If you’re having a traditional Indian wedding, ask your non-Indian girlfriends to join you for the mehndi (henna) party.

Our Final Advice About Planning A Fusion Wedding

Ultimately, your wedding is your big day and it should reflect your values as a couple as well as your priorities. Even though you come from 2 different cultures, you don’t have to incorporate both your backgrounds if you don’t want to; likewise, you may choose to only incorporate one culture or none at all. The important piece of advice for you to take away is to open have discussions about what’s important to you; after all, you want to look back at your wedding and fondly remember that it was exactly the way you wanted it.